Naked in Public *12

by Jessica Brookman in

It's art. It's on the internet. Here are some morsels for your perusal. I am #nakedinpublic:

jessica brookman naked in public.gif
  • Sometimes, you just need to get out of town. For, like, a month. It's cool. I get it. Just don't leave a note. That's how the rumors start. 
  • If there must be a rumor that you're in rehab, make sure you're really skinny. That way everyone will assume it's for an eating disorder or heroin. This will keep them from finding out about your sex addiction. Phew! That would certainly be embarrassing.  

  • Speaking of embarrassing, I'm tired of talking about my fucking brand and you should be too. 
  • Women of New York and Los Angeles: Just say no to men who have head shots in their okcupid profiles. (This counts twice if you're not in one of those cities, now that I think about it.) Dudes, this is the equivalent of a girl having a selfie as her phone background. 

  • Speaking of backgrounds, OKCupid should have "verifieds." Instead of a fee-for-service model, dating sites could then start working on pay-per-proof-you're-not-a-fucking-asshole model. Just say no to assholes. 

  • Speaking of assholes. Can someone let Zack Braff know that Kickstarter is not a toy? It's an entitlement program for the internet. 
  • Matter of fact, just say no to OK Cupid (and actors). Unless you have an addiction. If that's the case, call me an enabler but I think you should just say yes

  • The more you say yes, the more interesting your life becomes.

  • I'm not going to tell you what to do with this piece of information. But, you know, for what it's worth, it's a habit that makes for good stories.

Can someone find my will to return to Los Angeles? I've misplaced it.

Love you, Brookman