Naked in Public *13

by Jessica Brookman in

  • You are an adult. And as such, you are allowed to leave the dirty dishes in the sink until morning. But, just so you know, this is how we get ants. 

  • You are an adult. And there ain't nobody but yourself to blame for your undone chores. Just LOOK at this clutter, you monster. 

  • Speaking of, pushing your dirty laundry under the bed doesn't make it invisible. Your socks smell fucking terrible, you know.

  • By the way, you, if you don't want to come clean, no problem. You're an adult. Just don't throw your shit at/onto other people. 

  • [Because you get what you fucking give.]
  • Hey, you know what you should fucking give? Flowers. It's spring, idiot. Look outside. 

  • You know who likes getting flowers? I do. Me and every girl in the entire world. Flowers are a great way to say, "i love you!" or "I miss you!" or maybe just "I'm sorry I got you pregnant!"

  • Whatever you have to say, just say it. We're all adults here and your hamper looks pretty full. Would hate to see it spill over, out the door, and into the world.