FACT: IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. BUT YOU CAN BE FUCKING AWESOME ANYWAY.
Good morning, fair people, and WELCOME TO THE FAKE APOCALYPSE!
Considering that you are all still here reading this little slice of internet, I'm either living in Jean-Paul Sartre's version of hell or the world has not, in fact, ended. But here's the awesome news: It's the end of an astrological long-cycle and we're transiting into the Age of Aquarius!
I *also* have the honor of entering my 30th year on this planet today. I am a lucky, lucky girl.
As Sophia Loren once said, birthdays are a good time to audit your life. But even if you don't buy into astrology OR my birthday, it's almost New Years and the Resolution Machine is certainly humming away! There has really never been a better time for you to become less of an asshole. I'm feeling inspired, aren't you? Here we go:
HERE 10 WAYS TO BE HAPPY WHEN THE WORLD ENDS:
- FUCK YOUR TIMELINE
"Are we there yet?" is not just for annoying 6 year-olds on a roadtrip. No, we are NOT there. There is no there. Life is a continuous experience.
Now enjoy the ride or I WILL pull this car over.
- TRY NEW THINGS (DON'T BUY NEW THINGS)
Collect experiences and memories, not stuff. Challenge yourself to let go of anything not serving a purpose or creating joy in your life. You'll be shocked by how little you actually need.
Besides, owning things just for the sake of having them is so petit bourgeois.
- DEVELOP YOUR OWN PERSONAL STYLE
I dress like a call girl.
If Karl Lagerfeld were capable of fucking a woman, and he and Audrey Hepburn had a love child and that love child grew up to be a slightly cheeky but nonetheless refined call girl in early-1960s Paris, that call girl would look a lot like me. I purged my wardrobe and this is what emerged. Sue me.
Fashion may be frivolous, but style is not. Wear only clothes that make you feel like a badass motherfucker. Donate or sell the rest.
- TAKE CARE OF YOUR DAMN SELF
There are 10,000 excuses for not taking care of yourself. But allow me to kill ALL of them for you right now: You only get one body, and YOU are its sole keeper.
Plus, exercise makes you look good naked.
I've been known to take myself on 2000mi road trips solo just to see a little stretch of unfamiliar highway. You don't have to take travel to extremes for it to be invigorating.
Go into parts of the world that do not look like yours. Talk to the humans there.
- ALLOW EXPERIENCE TO MAKE YOU BETTER
You'll fuck up a million times. Or, if you're like me, you have already fucked up several million times. Things will usually turn out unexpectedly weird or unexpectedly awesome no matter what you do. Regardless, you'll live.
Fuck up. Learn. Grow. Rinse. Repeat.
- KEEP GOOD COMPANY
You are who you spend your time with. Simple as that.
- TAKE YOURSELF SERIOUSLY
Once, a sage told me that it takes strength, courage, determination, and smarts to live as yourself. I'm not saying this will be easy; it is the hardest thing in the world, maybe. But it is the only thing worth doing. Your ONLY responsibility in life, is to get really good at something and to share it with the world. If you can do this, the rest will *have* to work itself out. You just have to let it. START it in whatever manner or form available to you right now.
Do it. Do it now. Do NOT apologize.
- BUT, DON'T TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY
No matter what you decide to do, life is still one big, beautiful mess.
Smile, motherfucker. It's funny.
Love is the most powerful thing in the universe. I'm not simply talking about romantic love, but you can roll your eyes if you want. I do not care. I believe in it. Look for it. And when you find it, say thank you and ask for more.
You can also make it. That's fun too
This is all that I know about living life so far. It took me almost 30-years but I feel alright about that. Now that you know all of my secrets, I'll see you when the world ends. Whenever that is...
And Hello 29. I am so happy to be here!
Pssst. If you liked it, can do me a birthday solid and share this post?