How to Buy Holiday Gifts for Your Hipster Boyfriend

by Jessica Brookman in , ,


FACT: Holiday Gift Guides are generic pieces of shit. Here's a more targeted approach.

 B rooklyn, New York:  June, 2012.   Hipster love.  Leica MP.  35 ‘lux.  Lab scan »>  Aperture .  (Agfa APX 25)
Brooklyn, New York:  June, 2012.   Hipster love.  Leica MP.  35 ‘lux.  Lab scan »> Aperture.  (Agfa APX 25)

Fucking W Magazine posted a gift guide for hipsters and it's really bad, y'all.  Here are some real ideas: 

  • Any piece of clothing that is from another era. Really. Anything. Some staples include old-timey vests, suspenders, and anything made out of tweed. Tweed goes really well with facial hair. Ask anyone in Silverlake. 

  • For the non-committal hipster boyfriend, LOVE/HATE temporary finger tattoos. He can't decide about you, so why decide about ink?

  • Ornaments. For his beard.

  • A stop-motion film re-enactment of your first date. Shot only in instagram.

  • A profound art print. Probably something with a quote. If you want to see just how avante garde he is, write the quote in your own menstrual blood because it is so edgy. If he doesn't dig it, you're not dating a real hipster. That shit is art.
  • If it's chilly, give him one of your Mom's old sweaters. Like, *nobody* is doing that yet. 

  • You can also turn your hipster boyfriend into a meme. Boyfriends love that shit.  If you're already actually dating Ryan Gosling, fuck you. 

  • A *statement* koozie. Warm tecate is as much of a first-world problem as he's ever gonna have. 

  • A framed picture of your bush. Shaving/waxing is SO 2012. Vagina coifs forever. BONUS: If that picture was from that "really weird" time when you were an American Apparel model and may or may not have been sleeping with Dov Charney. 

  • The ultimate hipster sacrifice: Turn your favorite pair of jeans into cutoffs. He'll feel closer to you every time he zips his ballsack up because, let's face it, those things are WAY too small for any grown man to be wearing. 

#okimdone.

What are YOU getting your special buddy for the holidays?

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Photography: Banner, Gallery: Pinterest.