How to Know You're Not a Hustler

by Jessica Brookman in ,


FACT: Most people have no fucking clue what it takes to make their own way. Here's how to know you're doing it wrong. 

Look. I've been trying to write this list in reverse but each time I start, I'm reminded of encounters I've had with various impotent, whiny fuckers about how difficult their lives are and how impossible and soul-crushing the world is. 

At first I thought this was just how the world was -- people were more or less negative and there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn't until recently that I realized I could simply close my circle to energy that isn't supportive of where I'm going. It's a choice. It turns out, the world is just divided into hustlers and non-hustlers. 

I get it. It's not easy. And nobody's path is free from obstacles. It takes guts to take responsibility for yourself. And it takes practice to keep doing it. But the only way to stop being a soul-crusher is to confront your own game and make adjustments. 

To make my excruciating encounters and experiences of my own into productive ones, I've turned them into a handy field guide for you. After all, until you learn your lesson, you will keep repeating it.  

Since this post has a latent hip hop theme, I'm going to allow the unassailable wisdom that is Kendrick Lamar's twitter explain the solution to your non-hustling problems. (Obviously).I could have quoted, like, Miranda July or something but, um, I don't live in LA anymore.

Here is a list of ways in which you can fail to be a hustler: 

 

  1. YOU DON'T STAY IN YOUR LANE // YOU ARE A CRITIC. 

    Part of hustling is minding your own damn business. If you've ever heard yourself telling someone "That's not how you do it," "You can't do THAT," or "What did you do to deserve that?" Congrats. You have enough time to talk shit about other people. If you have time to worry about what other people are doing but you can't get your own work done, you are not a hustler.

  2. YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR // YOU FIXATE ON THE NEGATIVES.

    The other part of hustling is not taking failures or successes too seriously. Hustlers laugh at bullshit. 

    Because you know what's funny? Pretty much everything. All the time. We're all going to die, anyway. (LOL! Death. That's funny. See?) When you are doing something original or difficult, you will fuck up approximately one million times. If you can't laugh, you will get frustrated. When you get frustrated, you will quit. When you quit, you are not a hustler. 

  3. YOU LIKE NICE THINGS...AND YOU NEED THEM TO FEEL GOOD. 

    In this new age of journalism, here is a bit of breaking news for you: Everyone likes nice things. 

    I am not here to tell you either what you should do or how to get rich doing it. Just remember: Nobody 
    wants to struggle But, if you aren't willing to struggle, you will never make it. If the only thing you've ever dreamed of is a few Prada bags and/or a building with a doorman, get a job or a rich boyfriend. You are a not a hustler. 

  4. YOU ARE EXTREMELY CREATIVE...WITH YOUR EXCUSES.

    You are so talented!! You can literally identify multiple reasons not to pursue any goal imaginable. That's a skill.

    Unfortunately, it's not a marketable skill OR a product. And depending on which of your personal goals you're currently cockblocking yourself from, you may also be projecting your self-loathing onto others as unsolicited advice. You could be doing something to close the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. But you're not. Because you are not a hustler. 

  5. YOU ARE A PUSSY. 

    Everyone feels fear. I feel it all the time. Most of the time, I have to laugh. (Because it's funny, motherfucker. See Item #2.) Fear is natural. But if you cling to it -- or worse, project it onto everyone around you -- you are breathing life into it and making it real. You *could* be making something else. But you're not, because you are not a hustler.

 

There you have it: A To-Do list for haters, those aspiring to middle-management, and anyone who wants to live an unsatisfying and uncreative life.

If you follow these suggestions, you'll be well on your way to systematically crushing your dreams. And better yet, you're also going to refine your skills at being a soul-crushing dick to everyone around you! 

It's really *that* easy!

Do you understand?
 
Brookman. 

 

Option Item #6. Subliminal Message Edition:

 

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